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June 2, 2016

Love Yourself

love yourself

Sometimes I think I’m so crazy for joining the beauty industry, I feel like you are just setting yourself up for straight up failure. I mean, this is women’s hair and nails which is everything to them! It is the end of the world if they break a nail or their hair isn’t just right. People are so obsessed with things like this that if you do anything wrong, they will not care about any feelings or that you are a human being. I have had so much heartache because you never feel good enough for anyone, no matter how good and “successful” you get, there is always that one person. Also yes, I decided to make the title of my blog the same title of the song we hear on the radio so many times a day from that crazy Justin Bieber kid. I wanted to talk today on my blog about loving yourself. And even if your “Momma don’t like me and she likes everyone” I’m just going to be over here in the corner loving myself because that’s what Justin told me to do. I struggle and struggle with loving myself and I feel like if you don’t love yourself then your friends and family sometimes won’t get all the love they deserve from you.

My first job was with a corporate company and I  remember when the “big wig” came to town it was a very stressful time for everyone. I just remember her looking at me like I was worthless. When I was cutting this cute little old guys hair, I was talking to him and listening to his sweet story and while this was going on in the background I could hear this crazy lady yelling at my manager about how horrible I was because my “numbers” weren’t high enough and that if I was going to be a “lollygagger”  that wanted to talk to my costumers, then I needed to go somewhere else. It was so horrible to have that feeling of listening to this while I was cutting this guys hair and it took everything in me not to cry. Then of course at the end of the day my boss pulled me into the office and had to give me the ultimatum that I had to be faster at hair cuts and have higher numbers. Oh by the way did I mention that I probably was out of beauty school maybe a couple of months?! I was traumatized and thought that the career I chose was going to be so horrible. I came home sobbing and felt so bad about myself and thought that life would be just so much easier if I never did hair again and had a normal desk job. I then decided to make a decision that I was going to be the best employee and work so hard and be amazing and then I was going to march in to the office and QUIT! Now I know that that’s not very good advice but I hated it there anyways, and couldn’t stand the hours and weekends I had to work, but I wanted to leave with success. I worked so hard over the next little bit and I would come home so exhausted and I brought my numbers up so high that even a dog would want to buy product and get a scalp massage for $3 more from me. I was so happy and proud of myself and I think everyone was so surprised that I became their competition. I then went into my boss and quit! It felt so good to leave knowing that I didn’t fail. It also was so nice because I wanted to get married and have more than 2 days off for our honey moon. Then sure enough, three weeks later I had people calling me trying to get me to come back to work for them because my numbers were so good. Even crazy, scary lady wanted me back and man I really wished I could have looked her in the face like Julia Roberts and said “big mistake!!”

Then a little bit later in our young newlywed life, we took a big move for my husband’s job. I went to another corporation because I knew we wouldn’t be there that long so I didn’t want to build a clientele. I had a hard time at first because I knew no one. I did manage to make friends with this cute older lady that was probably my grandmas age, and I would go to her house and do her nails, it was such a fun friendship. I went to work at this job and I instantly became part of the group and got clients so easily and they recognized my hard work and I was the “relief manager”. Yes I know, that doesn’t really mean anything because you aren’t the main manager or the assistant you are pretty much nothing still. But hey, I still walked around telling people I was the manager to “relieve” people’s cleaning chores. I also did so good and won lots of fun prizes for my sales. I had cute old guys who would call in and make appointments with me and lots of sweet girls who couldn’t live without me coloring their hair and I remember one lady who was so sweet and would say “I don’t know what I would do without you!” Then on a rainy stormy night a man walked in…… let’s call him “Mr. Ankle Bracelet guy”the only way I can describe him is he straight up looks like “The Rock”. I can’t even remember what he really looks like when I replay this in my head, but that is who is playing him. I then cut his hair and was not scared at all and was doing a really good job, then he kept just staring in the mirror so intensely at everything and was getting a little crazy. I almost felt like he was holding his breath and he just looked so nervous, so I got a little scared. Then I told him I was done and asked if there was anything I should do then he finally said that…. his hair….. looked……AWESOME! AMAZING! INCREDIBLE! He said it was the best hair cut he has ever had, and tipped me $10 and was so excited he finally found someone he could start to going to. He loved me…. in a hair cutting way of course. He then kept coming back and got pickier and pickier, and scarier and scarier. He kept telling me to blend more and more and more. Then he would get tense and so obsessive with his hair and I had to rethink my life and if I even knew how to do male haircuts, I just kept feeling so much pressure and pressure until finally… I don’t remember I may have blacked out but his hair was so blended that he became more of a military high and tight which is not what he wanted. He explained it a hundred times, so then weeks went by and no Ankle Bracelet Guy……… Then one day a mysterious big man came in with a hoodie on and sat in the corner till it was my turn to take the next hair cut and he stood up and took his hood off to reveal his face and he just layed it on me…. He yelled…. and yelled…and spit was flying everywhere….and you could hear kittens in the street running to their homes to hide… I just couldn’t listen anymore because he said such horrible things, but I just stood there and took it… until he stopped yelling and said this…. “but I have decided to come back anyways because that first haircut you gave me was incredible.” I then cut his hair in pure silence holding back my tears, or maybe I didn’t, they could have came out. I spent the longest time in history on a male haircut that day, then I walked him to the cash register and I broke up with him, and told him I would no longer do his hair. He gave me a $3 tip and walked away. He still came into that salon and got his hair cut and legends says he is still there but he wasn’t going to be getting a haircut from this girl.

How is someone suppose to love themselves after experiences like these? When I moved back home I decided to build my clients so I could have a salon life and my own schedule and make lots of money. The problem with that is you have to have clients to live that life and I had none. I remember me and my sweet husband driving in the car and I felt so discouraged that I didn’t have any clients and I told him I wish I could find a way to get my name out and build my clientele. He then rolled down the windows in the car and started yelling out the window saying “Everyone go to Candice Carter for the best nails!!” we laughed so hard and pretty soon both of us started yelling with our heads out the window to come get their nails done. Now here I am going through all these adventures 3 years later and 2 kids and I finally can say I have a “full clientele” I’m very happy with where I am in life. I do get those mean girls in class when I teach education who think that they know everything and I’m a dumb educator and sales person when in all reality I do exactly what the company tells me to do. I follow every procedure, and it’s up to them if they are going to apply what I said to get amazing results. The best part is I don’t have to sell to get paid and I can go to another school when I feel like they are being disrespectful and they don’t appreciate me, and other schools truly want to learn.

I just feel like in today’s society that it’s so much easier when you are behind a screen writing it out. It’s so sad how people love putting people down so much and you wonder if they really truly feel better about themselves. How in today’s world are we suppose to love ourselves with everyone putting us down? When in reality if we all talked face to face we could resolve problems so much easier and be so much nicer. I don’t know what is in people’s heads to do horrible posts  or write a nasty, mean things. I would never in a million years think to write something that negative to hurt someone on purpose. Now I will admit, I did write a review to a sandwich shop here because they wouldn’t deliver to my house because they only go .5 miles away from their shop and I wrote “Oh that’s why you’re freaky fast delivery because you only go a half a mile away, what about those who don’t care how fast you are!” I know that was so mean to say and I should delete it. Don’t worry though, I have recently moved since then and I did talk with the manager and convince them into delivering to me now because I am closer, but still not close enough to make the delivery map. Sorry rambling and off subject.. moving on.

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Let us see the good. I have worked my but off for 6 years and have only had 3 experiences where I didn’t want to get out of my bed because I was a worthless human being or how I like to say it quoted by “My Best Friends Wedding” I’m “The pus that infects the mucous… that cruds up the fungus… that feeds on the pond scum.” Is that a little harsh to say about yourself? Maybe, but it’s the perfect way to describe how I would feel sometimes. We need to try and focus on the good. For me, it’s all the people who love my haircuts and colors, all the nail clients that I have to turn away because I have no room for them, all the late night texts and calls I get from past students who loved their Gelish Educator and beg for help and advice in starting their career. Why don’t we see that and love ourselves?? Instead we just wallow in our sorrows. We all need to love ourselves and push all the negative thoughts out. We need to only post nice things to others on social media and be friends to one another, and if we don’t like something just move past it, there is no reason to put others down when in all reality it looks sad. I am a firm believer that if we show love and success that is the greatest thing we can do to control the situations we can’t handle. Become the person you dreamed of and love that person so much. Move past the Ankle Bracelet Person in your life, or the zits on your face. Time will pass and you will be healed. I know it sucks so bad, I shared my stories so you could see that I have failed so much in my life; everyone fails. Just smile and see the joy you see in your sweet babies eyes when they run through the sprinklers, or the way your husband looks at you when you make that killer tasting dinner. The way you know every word to that song on the radio, or how 6 years out of high school you can still rock the Miley Cyrus “Hoe down throw down” and crush every dance move. Or while you watch your sweet little girl play with that baby doll and wrap a blanket around it and give it a soft kiss. Know that that was you and you are doing an incredible job. You need to love that person so much that you have become. Trust me, she needs it and you look at that person in the eyes and tell her you love her so much and she is everything you have ever wanted in life. Now I would like to end how my Pilates instructor ends all of our work out classes, we all sit there in our gross, stinky sweat with our legs crossed and our eyes closed and she makes us give ourselves a big hug. Now it’s your turn to give yourself a big hug.

 

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